Finding meaning in life

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/08/is-this-japanese-concept-the-secret-to-a-long-life

How to prune a tree

https://www.bonsaiempire.com/basics/styling/pruning

Habits for Mental Health

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YbWRqsnHdo

1. Smile - Think of someone or something that makes you happy. Smile about it. Real smile for one minute
2. Be Mindful - Be aware of the thoughts and ideas coming into your brain. Create a buffer zone. Organize the inputs. Actively identify negative or poisonous thoughts, and do not allow them into your brain to affect your mental state
3. Breathe - Close eyes, Focus on deep breathing for one minute

How to be a good Husband

Growing up, i always thought i knew what it meant to "be a man".
Only now do i realize that no one ever taught me how to "be a husband"
I guess i followed the example set by my parents, and i assumed that was the correct thing to do.
It had never occurred to me that my parents were doing it wrong, and that they had no clue how to treat each other well.
I realized that this is something families do not discuss.

This is the vicious cycle i can clearly see happening now that i am in the situation.

• "Single Boy" and "Single Girl" personalities fall in love, they get married
• "Husband" and "Wife" have Child 1
• "Husband" attempts to become "Daddy" by using his experience from his own parents, and tries to improve on the perceived shortcomings of his parents
• "Wife" attempts to become "Mommy" by using her experience from her own parents, and tries to improve on the perceived shortcomings of her parents
• "Daddy" and "Mommy" slowly start to realize they no longer love each other the same way, because they are no longer "Single Boy" and "Single Girl"
• Child 2 comes along
• "Daddy" tries to continue "Single Boy" behaviour in an effort to recapture his lost self-image
• "Mommy tries to continue "Single Girl" behaviour in an effort to recapture her lost self-image" 
• They both drive themselves crazy trying to achieve something that can never be regained
• They are both so caught up in trying to regain their past selves, they do not focus on becoming "Husband Daddy" and "Wife Mommy"
• The couple runs into problems, and decide to stay together for the kids
• They are stuck in the "Single Boy Daddy" with "Single Girl Mommy" dynamic, and instead, this is what they show the children
• The boys grow up believing that this is the correct way to be, and the "Single Boy Daddy" behaviour is mistaken as "Husband Daddy" behaviour, but it is not
• The girls grow up believing that this is the correct way to be, and the "Single Girl Mommy" behaviour is mistaken as "Wife Mommy" behaviour, but it is not
• The reality is, once parents get into the cycle of "Staying together for the kids" the kids no longer have a proper example of how to be a "Husband Daddy" or a "Wife Mommy", dooming them to future marriage problems

The Solution

• We need to focus more on being balanced Husband Daddy, and Wife Mommy, and not assume that what our parents were doing was correct
• Husband Daddy
• Never Criticize. Express your concerns without being critical. Focus on the situation, and not the person. Criticism from a spouse causes far more damage than either party realizes.
• Make special occasions special. This is not the place to try to save money.
• Don't sweat the small stuff. Everything is small stuff
• Get the kids to bed early. Schedule spouse time.
• 
  

Failures

List of things i've been yelled at for

Put glaze on ham too early. Did not follow instructions. No idea why.

Sources of Anger - Frustration Bricks. Walls of Anger.

Frustration occurs whenever an expectation is not met. This is the equivalent of a single brick.

Repeated Frustration becomes Anger. This is the culmination of frustration into a perceived wall.

Anger is the mechanism your brain uses to force yourself into a state that allows you to deal with a situation that you were unable to deal with previously.
It's a survival mechanism.
Nothing more than a hammer meant to break that wall.

Your brain has perceived a virtual wall, and your brain is using desperate tools to get over it.
The correct course of action is to calm down, examine the wall and identify the following

• Can i walk around, or otherwise ignore this wall?
• Is this wall real?
• What is the root cause?
• Why is this wall a problem?
• Are others placing frustration bricks, or am i placing them myself?
• Am i building this wall for a reason?
• If i knock down this wall, will it have other consequences?
• Not all walls are bad. They may be inconvenient, and frustrating, but they may be necessary. 
• Don't go knocking down walls if they're holding up your roof.
• This wall may be preventing other walls from forming
• 
  

Situations

• XMAS 2017. Supposed to be by my mother for 2pm for our family get-together.She knows we have to leave early to go to church my 6pm. I got the kids ready and were waiting by 1pm. It is now 3pm. All other family is already there and have called to find out where we are. 
• This is not the first time this has happened. In fact, this has happened EVERY SINGLE TIME we have to do something. She is always at least 1 hour late. If i push or try to get her to speed up, it ends up in a fight.
• This makes me angry.

Simple Worm/Slug/Snail Farm / Compost Bin

Worms are great, but in our garden, there are many slugs and snails as well that do an equally good job of breaking down plant material.

My simple compost bin began as a plastic Shipping barrel (HDPE 77 gallon plastic drum), and some bricks to keep it above ground level

• Drill a bunch of 1/4-inch holes in the bottom of the barrel, about 1-inch apart
• You now have a compost bin
• Find a shady corner of your garden over SOIL where you can easily hide the compost bin, such as behind a tree, or a wall of potted plants, or close to your water tank so it looks like part of the plumbing
• Place the bricks down in an upside down U shape so the opening faces you
• Place the compost bin on the bricks, with the open side on top
• Layer some compost material and soil in the bin
• Throw any random worms / slugs / snails into the bin to help things get started
• If you leave the top open, it allows air movement, sunlight and birds to get in
• You can always use the aluminum cover of the shipping barrel or build a wooden cover for it if you wish
• Cut up your compost material and throw it in the top
• Water it every so often just to keep things moist
• Any excess water will drain from the bottom anyway and nourish the soil beneath the barrel
• Droppings, castings, and compost material will periodically fall through the holes on the bottom
• It usually takes about a month to cycle material
• Use a shovel and periodically clear/collect the stuff that falls out of the bin underneath