When you feel like you can't do anything right...

Your brain believes what you tell it.
Each thought about being worthless is another brick in that tower of worthlessness you're building.

The important thing to remember is to identify the source of the thought.
What can i learn from this?

And to remember that this is a fleeting moment, and it will pass.
Do not act, or make any decisions while you are in this state.

Eat, drink, have a bath, go to sleep.

Recall what you have learnt from the experience.
Find somewhere quiet.Think positive thoughts to balance out the negative.
Say them out loud.
Breathe and repeat.
http://aimhappy.com/6-mantras-for-positive-thinking/

1. This thought is a choice (Spirit)
1. You attract what you put out. If we want to feel an abundant return of good energy, we must get into the space, and the willingness, to give good energy first. Give happiness away and it is yours to keep. Think positive thoughts and you will see more to be positive about.
2. Happiness is here (Heart)
1. Lasting happiness is unconditional, and not dependant on anything outside of ourselves
2. Our default state is happy. We allow external factors to suppress our inherent happiness
3. Whatever feeling washes over you, let it happen. Do not resist. Surrender to your sadness or anger or whatever negative emotion is trying to come to the surface, just know you don’t need to wallow there forever. It doesn’t define you, but it will guide you.
3. Learn by doing (Hands)
1. When you try an experiment, any outcome is considered a success. There’s no criticism with an experiment because you don’t need a victory; you just need an answer
4. This too shall pass (Feet)
1. Continue moving
2. Everything changes, and whatever you’re experiencing in this moment will not last forever. Forms are temporary. No negative emotion or situation is permanent, and this realization creates space to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
3. What is not manifested will eventually return to the un-manifested state from which it came.
4. Acting on negativity manifests it, and makes it permanent. Never act in a negative state of mind. Walk away.
5. There's enough for everyone (Core)
1. There is enough of everything—enough money, enough time, enough love, enough praise, enough happiness, enough sadness, enough of everything that we need.
6. Be easy (Mind)
1. Focus on one thing at a time and infuse each moment with your attention, presence, and gratitude.
2. This mantra is also a reminder to be easy on yourself. Trust your inner wisdom to guide you to where you need to be, but keep the process of getting there simple. Don’t over-analyze everything. Keep it easy. Take it easy. Be easy.

On Love - The abscence of judgment

This quote passed my feed, and got me thinking...

"Love is the Absence of Judgment - Dalai Lama"

Judgement naturally occurs when you encounter some object or situation that did not meet or exceed your expectations.
This is a natural reaction that allows us to compare things when making any decision.
So let's assume we're talking about people only from this point on.

Absence of judgement means one of two things

1. True Natural Love - The person has met or exceeded your expectations, and you have nothing to complain about. This is perfect. I Love them.
2. Forced Convinced Love - I know that i'm not supposed to judge people i love, so therefore i will not pass judgement on this person, even though i really do have fault, but i am choosing not to openly judge. I am subjecting myself to this torture for this person. I Love them.

Therefore, the measure of true love comes from whether or not your expectations will change over time.

On Ikigai

I am having serious trouble trying to figure out what the world needs.
So far, this is my train of thought

• What does the world need?
• What is the world's goal?
• If we look at the world as a single organism, what would it be trying to achieve?
• Nothing.
• The world does not choose what it wants
• The world is a product of all of the external forces that have shaped it into what it is today

Finding meaning in life

https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/08/is-this-japanese-concept-the-secret-to-a-long-life

How to prune a tree

https://www.bonsaiempire.com/basics/styling/pruning

Habits for Mental Health

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YbWRqsnHdo

1. Smile - Think of someone or something that makes you happy. Smile about it. Real smile for one minute
2. Be Mindful - Be aware of the thoughts and ideas coming into your brain. Create a buffer zone. Organize the inputs. Actively identify negative or poisonous thoughts, and do not allow them into your brain to affect your mental state
3. Breathe - Close eyes, Focus on deep breathing for one minute

How to be a good Husband

Growing up, i always thought i knew what it meant to "be a man".
Only now do i realize that no one ever taught me how to "be a husband"
I guess i followed the example set by my parents, and i assumed that was the correct thing to do.
It had never occurred to me that my parents were doing it wrong, and that they had no clue how to treat each other well.
I realized that this is something families do not discuss.

This is the vicious cycle i can clearly see happening now that i am in the situation.

• "Single Boy" and "Single Girl" personalities fall in love, they get married
• "Husband" and "Wife" have Child 1
• "Husband" attempts to become "Daddy" by using his experience from his own parents, and tries to improve on the perceived shortcomings of his parents
• "Wife" attempts to become "Mommy" by using her experience from her own parents, and tries to improve on the perceived shortcomings of her parents
• "Daddy" and "Mommy" slowly start to realize they no longer love each other the same way, because they are no longer "Single Boy" and "Single Girl"
• Child 2 comes along
• "Daddy" tries to continue "Single Boy" behaviour in an effort to recapture his lost self-image
• "Mommy tries to continue "Single Girl" behaviour in an effort to recapture her lost self-image" 
• They both drive themselves crazy trying to achieve something that can never be regained
• They are both so caught up in trying to regain their past selves, they do not focus on becoming "Husband Daddy" and "Wife Mommy"
• The couple runs into problems, and decide to stay together for the kids
• They are stuck in the "Single Boy Daddy" with "Single Girl Mommy" dynamic, and instead, this is what they show the children
• The boys grow up believing that this is the correct way to be, and the "Single Boy Daddy" behaviour is mistaken as "Husband Daddy" behaviour, but it is not
• The girls grow up believing that this is the correct way to be, and the "Single Girl Mommy" behaviour is mistaken as "Wife Mommy" behaviour, but it is not
• The reality is, once parents get into the cycle of "Staying together for the kids" the kids no longer have a proper example of how to be a "Husband Daddy" or a "Wife Mommy", dooming them to future marriage problems

The Solution

• We need to focus more on being balanced Husband Daddy, and Wife Mommy, and not assume that what our parents were doing was correct
• Husband Daddy
• Never Criticize. Express your concerns without being critical. Focus on the situation, and not the person. Criticism from a spouse causes far more damage than either party realizes.
• Make special occasions special. This is not the place to try to save money.
• Don't sweat the small stuff. Everything is small stuff
• Get the kids to bed early. Schedule spouse time.
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