- I am not happy
- I no longer receive the most basic actions of respect, diligence, peace, or positivity
- I am being treated unfairly
- I do more than my share, and it goes unnoticed, and at the same time is criticized
- I no longer have any motivation or ambition to improve anything for anyone
- Did i contribute to this situation?
- Yes i did
- I am just as responsible for this outcome as my wife
- I did not care enough to to anything about the situation, because deep down, i was never happy
- I chose to ignore the facts, and believe that i could "live with her shortcomings"
- That was my mistake
- Why does it all go wrong?
- Being boyfriend/girlfriend is different from being husband/wife
- One relationship ends, the other begins. No matter how long you have been together, you do not know what this person will be like when they are married (unless they have been married before)
- Being Mother/Father is different from being Husband/Wife
- One relationship ends, the other begins. No matter how long you have been together, you do not know what this person will be like when they have children (unless they have had children before)
- More children makes it harder
- Meddling parents makes it harder
- There is a fine line between being helpful and supportive, and being meddlesome
- Parents have to learn this on their own
- Lack of money makes it harder
- Love is not enough
- Honesty is not the best policy
- You need to learn how to tell people exactly what they want to hear, and not the truth
- Truth leads to unhappiness and resentment
- What have i learned?
- Find someone who knows the value of time, money, respect
- Find someone who is constructive
- Find someone with strong breeding and good genes, with no mental illness, genetic disorders or learning disabilities in the family (These things matter when the children show up)
- Culture, Religion, Class, Race ALL MATTER
- Love is not enough
- How can i predict the future?
- Look at her mother, she will be exactly like her
- Look at her father, you will be just as happy as he is, if you are exactly like him
- Look at their home, your home will look the exact same way
- Look at how they treat each other, you will be treated the same way
Sunday, September 16, 2018
Why i am getting divorced.
The most hurtful things ever said to me by my wife
I don't think she realizes the negative effects that these statements have on the way i see her, and our relationship.
Trying to "discuss" these things just leads to shouting, and it eventually happens again anyway.
Trying to "discuss" these things just leads to shouting, and it eventually happens again anyway.
- She asks "Are you finished eating?" I reply "Not Yet" She says "I was talking to the children, I don't care if you eat"
- Whenever she has to do anything, she begins her sentences with "Let your worthless wife do..." (Is she actually worthless? she thinks so. If i say anything in response, it turns into a fight)
- "I'm going to give the box of juice to my sister, should i pay you for it?"
Wednesday, June 27, 2018
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
My Pasta
- Fill pot with enough water to cover pasta
- Tablespoon of salt
- bring water to rolling boil
- Angel pasta - 4 mins
- Stir to prevent sticking
- pour into colander, drain
- salt, pepper, olive oil, mix
Monday, June 11, 2018
I hate it when my wife - Makes me feel bad about my family
Our families do things differently.
But my wife makes it a point to harp on any minor issue that comes up with my family.
I do not do this to her. Her defense is that her family does not ask for the same things, or treat me the same way, but this is because i do not have a close relationship with her family. None of her family members would start a conversation with me.
My family on the other hand has tried to include my wife, and speak to her, but she sees this as annoying, and would rather just be left alone.
If any of them does something, and she does not approve, she makes all of these comments about them that i have to just sit and endure. If i make any motion to say anything in their defense, it turns into a large fight, with her basically giving the ultimatum to choose between her or them, and decide who has priority.
I suppose the correct answer is to minimize her contact with my family. But this feels counterproductive. It feels like i'm creating a problem instead of solving one.
But oh well.
But my wife makes it a point to harp on any minor issue that comes up with my family.
I do not do this to her. Her defense is that her family does not ask for the same things, or treat me the same way, but this is because i do not have a close relationship with her family. None of her family members would start a conversation with me.
My family on the other hand has tried to include my wife, and speak to her, but she sees this as annoying, and would rather just be left alone.
If any of them does something, and she does not approve, she makes all of these comments about them that i have to just sit and endure. If i make any motion to say anything in their defense, it turns into a large fight, with her basically giving the ultimatum to choose between her or them, and decide who has priority.
I suppose the correct answer is to minimize her contact with my family. But this feels counterproductive. It feels like i'm creating a problem instead of solving one.
But oh well.
Sunday, June 10, 2018
What is true progress? Examples
True progress is any act that improves the quality of life permanently and has minimal adverse effects.
Every action has a +progress, -progress value. Only net positive progress actions are true progress.
Human advancement is any net positive change that makes some people consider themselves better off without making anyone else worse off.
Quality of life Factors
https://web.stanford.edu/~moore/Chapter1.pdf
Examples: Controlling Fire, The Wheel, Water treatment systems, Sanitation & Hygiene, Medication,The Guillotine
Examples of false progress: Rewarding effort instead of results, Upcycling, destruction of resources, marketing
Every action has a +progress, -progress value. Only net positive progress actions are true progress.
Human advancement is any net positive change that makes some people consider themselves better off without making anyone else worse off.
Quality of life Factors
- Material living conditions (income, consumption and material conditions)
- Productive or main activity
- Health
- Education
- Leisure and social interactions
- Economic and physical safety
- Governance and basic rights
- Natural and living environment
- Overall experience of life
https://web.stanford.edu/~moore/Chapter1.pdf
Examples: Controlling Fire, The Wheel, Water treatment systems, Sanitation & Hygiene, Medication,The Guillotine
Examples of false progress: Rewarding effort instead of results, Upcycling, destruction of resources, marketing
I hate it when my wife - Comments on how "successful" her friends are
Today, my wife passed some comments about all of her other friends moving into their new houses.
"Friend 1is moving in her new big house, and friend 2 is moving into their new house. Sigh."
A previous me would have commented on this by saying something along the lines of "Good for them"
But that would have led to a "discussion" about our current situation (we have a regular house, nothing fancy, needs work) and would have eventually led to a fight because i feel like she's criticizing me, and i feel like a failure because i couldn't provide a big fancy house like all her friends.
Now, every article online says all this fancy stuff about "don't let people treat you like that".
All the religious junk says "don't covet thy neighbour's belongings"
But the reality of life is, you're stuck to your wife, and she will make you feel like shit whenever she feels like she's losing the status race among her peers.
So now i know that the correct action is to say absolutely nothing, and pretend you didn't hear it. Because the reality is, she wasn't actually saying it to me, she was saying it to herself. I understand now that there is no logic to their comments, and that they really are just verbal triggers that happen as a result of some emotional imbalance at that point in time due to some random social media post.
Afterwards, they like to say things like "i meant to say that to get on your nerves"
It's all bullshit. They don't actually think about what they're saying, or have any ulterior motives. Everything that falls out of their mouths is a symptom of some emotional imbalance at the time. It's like permanent tourette syndrome.
So don't get caught by the trap of even validating what they're saying as something real.
Men are brought up to know that they are only as good as their word, and when you say things, you mean them. Women are never taught this. for women, words are just ways of expressing what's going on in their heads, and are not things to be held to. Unless you're a man.
"Friend 1is moving in her new big house, and friend 2 is moving into their new house. Sigh."
A previous me would have commented on this by saying something along the lines of "Good for them"
But that would have led to a "discussion" about our current situation (we have a regular house, nothing fancy, needs work) and would have eventually led to a fight because i feel like she's criticizing me, and i feel like a failure because i couldn't provide a big fancy house like all her friends.
Now, every article online says all this fancy stuff about "don't let people treat you like that".
All the religious junk says "don't covet thy neighbour's belongings"
But the reality of life is, you're stuck to your wife, and she will make you feel like shit whenever she feels like she's losing the status race among her peers.
So now i know that the correct action is to say absolutely nothing, and pretend you didn't hear it. Because the reality is, she wasn't actually saying it to me, she was saying it to herself. I understand now that there is no logic to their comments, and that they really are just verbal triggers that happen as a result of some emotional imbalance at that point in time due to some random social media post.
Afterwards, they like to say things like "i meant to say that to get on your nerves"
It's all bullshit. They don't actually think about what they're saying, or have any ulterior motives. Everything that falls out of their mouths is a symptom of some emotional imbalance at the time. It's like permanent tourette syndrome.
So don't get caught by the trap of even validating what they're saying as something real.
Men are brought up to know that they are only as good as their word, and when you say things, you mean them. Women are never taught this. for women, words are just ways of expressing what's going on in their heads, and are not things to be held to. Unless you're a man.
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